I think some weird things are happening. It almost feels as if some big things have cleared away and I can see other things I have never seen before. I bump into them, I catch myself saying something in conversation, or I am weeding the garden and an idle thought crosses my mind. A recent … Continue reading Open Journal #42
Tag: trauma
Open Journal #29
A thing happened, short version is, I was faced with a load of new paperwork that I had never seen before. The why and the wherefore is not really important for the point of this journal entry. Suffice to say that I have been reading many reports about me. Social Workers on home visits and … Continue reading Open Journal #29
Open Journal #21
Traumasexuality by Peter John Schouten Clearly I am late to the party. As I am with most things to do with all of this. The Mentor mentioned it, mentioned it in such a way that I paid attention. Thought I would get a copy and have a read. I really don’t do this, you will … Continue reading Open Journal #21
Open Journal #20
This last month I’ve slipped into being a bit of a recluse. Sleep broken by nightmares, half the night spent in the chat room or writing, and no real energy left for the outside world. Not that I had much desire to be around people anyway. The odd visitor to the house I could manage … Continue reading Open Journal #20
Open Journal #19
I understand that you probably know about this but this morning somebody told it to me for the first time When you are not fedlove on a silver spoon,you learn tolick it off knives. It hit me so deepit made me cryI felt it spread everywherewe talked about it and agreed that it was the … Continue reading Open Journal #19
Open Journal #18
The ban was lifted. I needed those couple of days to think about what happened next. What I felt about it. What it meant. As is often the way because of time zones, the chat rooms can be empty. I will often sit in one on my own and play music. I’ll write something on … Continue reading Open Journal #18
Open Journal #13
Disassociation is something I was aware of before I rocked up here. I knew the term, I knew what survivors meant when they referenced it, and I knew that I did it. Had it. Suffered from it. Caught it. What is the right term? Live with it. I live with disassociation and it with me. … Continue reading Open Journal #13
My Story
I suppose really this is Open Journal #5a It occurred to me that not everyone knows this story. I am a survivor and this is my story. An order of events if you will. An outline. I used to use the terminology that the headline was that i was a survivor of sexual abuse. I … Continue reading My Story
Open Journal #10
In the world of survivors the phrase ‘Trigger Warning’ means more than it has become to mean in common parlance. The content may be of a nature that has the potential to trigger a flashback or similar for a survivor and may deal with a subject matter or describe things in such a way as … Continue reading Open Journal #10
Open Journal #9
Violent childhood. Sexual abuse. Damaged adult getting by. Disclosure, police, courts. Two decades of coping. And now — the realisation I never really faced any of it. This all feels like the right thing to do, and I am starting to understand some of it. I had never spoken about, addressed, admitted, described all the … Continue reading Open Journal #9
a blog less ordinary 