Unprotected. My therapist taught me that word. It soothed my soul. It was such a healing word to hear. Made me feel seen. It was so true. If I had been protected, my life would have been so different. I would have been so different. If we add this prism and look again, does it … Continue reading Open Journal #57
Category: physical abuse
Open Journal #56
The Storage Unit Of My Mind I am sure it has been used a thousand times. It might even be that my therapist has used it many times himself. One day he described my brain as a storage unit. I imagined one of those ones you hire like a room with a roller shutter. You … Continue reading Open Journal #56
Open Journal #29
A thing happened, short version is, I was faced with a load of new paperwork that I had never seen before. The why and the wherefore is not really important for the point of this journal entry. Suffice to say that I have been reading many reports about me. Social Workers on home visits and … Continue reading Open Journal #29
Open Journal #27
Someone gave me a link to some interesting stuff for me to read, I was always the kid who read the back of cereal packets, I will read anything. In this case I am finding it thought provoking. It mentioned the phrase ‘self soothe’, never heard it before. Asked wife if she had come across … Continue reading Open Journal #27
Open Journal #23
I wasn’t talking about this to anyone. Never have. Would never. Had no need. I started talking to The Mentor about it. Well, because that’s what I do now. I think I started to understand it was at the root of some stuff, and keeping it secret wasn’t helping anything. These are some of the … Continue reading Open Journal #23
Open Journal #14
I am minded to apply a Tigger warning, but to be honest in my whole life i have never met another living soul whose parents did this to them. So i don’t think a Tigger warning is needed. On the off chance that you were also locked in your room all the time consider yourself … Continue reading Open Journal #14
Open Journal #13
Disassociation is something I was aware of before I rocked up here. I knew the term, I knew what survivors meant when they referenced it, and I knew that I did it. Had it. Suffered from it. Caught it. What is the right term? Live with it. I live with disassociation and it with me. … Continue reading Open Journal #13
Open Journal #12
I take a call from my little sister. There are three, and she’s the one I giggle and shop with. We grab some tea and settle down for chat and news and silliness. Eventually, she asks how I am and what I’ve been doing. In the next five seconds my mind rejects the polite noises … Continue reading Open Journal #12
Open Journal #7
The first few lines of My Story talk about my father being violent, locking me in rooms, and that I never talk about it. In chat a few days ago I was talking with someone and they told me they had read my story and said nice, kind things to me. I asked if he … Continue reading Open Journal #7