Essays from The ShadowsVolume Two Yesterday, a friend and I met with someone he knew really well, me not so much. I had met him a few times, in passing. When we arrived, he hugged my friend, long and hard. I watched and when it came to my turn, I stuck out my hand because … Continue reading The Politics of Hugging
If you could instantly master any skill, what would it be and why?
This question keeps popping up in various guises. My standard answer is to play the piano, fence, and maybe speak French fluently. Mostly because whenever I see people doing those things, they look like cool things to be able to do.As you get older, your ambitions reduce to some really basic things. There was a … Continue reading If you could instantly master any skill, what would it be and why?
What is one way you have grown this year?
I kind of stopped doing these WordPress writing prompts, mainly because I started to think very often my answers were bleak. Most of my writing is around my experience of being a survivor and the process of learning about it and trying to understand it. The writing prompts feel frothy and light. I have to … Continue reading What is one way you have grown this year?
Christians aren’t perfect. They just want you to be
Essays from The ShadowsVolume Two I should probably declare my position up front, to avoid giving the illusion that I have anything to do with organised religion. I became a born-again Christian aged 19; at least that’s what they told me. I never used those words myself. Not my kind of language, not the way … Continue reading Christians aren’t perfect. They just want you to be
Disturbing Calm
I am not fixed as such. I don't claim to be sorted, or that it is all over. I may never be able to utter those kinds of words. I am ok with that.What started as a sense of things having shifted has become more, and I know I have reached a kind of plateau. … Continue reading Disturbing Calm
I Have A Feeling Feelings Feel A Little Off.
Essays From The ShadowsVolume One I struggle with certain emotions. I mention this because sometimes, if we talk about things we find difficult, it helps others recognise themselves. It can give shape to feelings they already have but don't yet understand.In the first few weeks of talking to other male survivors, I spent a lot … Continue reading I Have A Feeling Feelings Feel A Little Off.
Hide & Seek With Ourselves
Essays From The ShadowsVolume One Over the years I have inhabited this planet I have seen how humans have got better at defining their sexuality. We have arrived at the loud and proud era and nobody has the right to tell me how I am referenced; I choose, this is how I am, and this … Continue reading Hide & Seek With Ourselves
Touching and the art of feeling
Essays From The Shadows Volume One Part of my recovery has included a lot of curiosity. It is in my nature to enquire and ask why and how, and what if we didn't do that, what if we did this instead? A trait that can get you into a lot of trouble if you are … Continue reading Touching and the art of feeling
Smooth Silky Sexy Skin
Essays From The ShadowsVolume One This may turn out to be something I regret writing. Honesty taken too far, or just unsettling for you, the reader, to know. I have wrangled with myself and decided that, in my quest for honesty and speaking the unspeakable truth, it is better to worry less about my discomfort … Continue reading Smooth Silky Sexy Skin
Some Things Are Better, Blurred
Essays From The Shadows Volume OneI have never understood therapy as a lifestyle accessory, or why anyone would insist on sticking with a therapist who irritates them.Or the people who think their therapist is an idiot. We will just leave aside the fact they are clearly more qualified to deal with you, otherwise why are you … Continue reading Some Things Are Better, Blurred