I take a call from my little sister. There are three, and she’s the one I giggle and shop with. We grab some tea and settle down for chat and news and silliness. Eventually, she asks how I am and what I’ve been doing. In the next five seconds my mind rejects the polite noises … Continue reading Open Journal #12
Tag: survivor
My Story
I suppose really this is Open Journal #5a It occurred to me that not everyone knows this story. I am a survivor and this is my story. An order of events if you will. An outline. I used to use the terminology that the headline was that i was a survivor of sexual abuse. I … Continue reading My Story
Open Journal #11
I am fascinated by how quickly you can connect with people here. I keep coming back to it and picking at it, trying to understand it. I mean sure we all have one thing in common, but it can’t just be that. Maybe it’s a false feeling, those of you who pop into chat rooms, … Continue reading Open Journal #11
Open Journal #10
In the world of survivors the phrase ‘Trigger Warning’ means more than it has become to mean in common parlance. The content may be of a nature that has the potential to trigger a flashback or similar for a survivor and may deal with a subject matter or describe things in such a way as … Continue reading Open Journal #10
Open Journal #9
Violent childhood. Sexual abuse. Damaged adult getting by. Disclosure, police, courts. Two decades of coping. And now — the realisation I never really faced any of it. This all feels like the right thing to do, and I am starting to understand some of it. I had never spoken about, addressed, admitted, described all the … Continue reading Open Journal #9
Open Journal #8
Woken again by nightmares. 3am. Same as every night since I got here. If I’m spending every waking moment thinking about abuse, I guess it stands to reason my brain is a bit full. I’ve just kind of resigned myself to the fact that I’m not going to get much sleep at the moment. I … Continue reading Open Journal #8
Open Journal #7
The first few lines of My Story talk about my father being violent, locking me in rooms, and that I never talk about it. In chat a few days ago I was talking with someone and they told me they had read my story and said nice, kind things to me. I asked if he … Continue reading Open Journal #7
Open Journal #6
It has to be some music today, we are going to always come back to music, it walks with me through all of this abuse stuff. At moments of pain it soothes and allows me to centre myself. When I am heading into stressful moments i arrive with it and don’t remove it from my … Continue reading Open Journal #6
Notes on Open Journal posts
I thought I would take a moment to explain a few things. Open Journal is posted on an American site, hence the odd explanation of Britishness to avoid confusion. You don’t need to know where, clearly it is for the likes of me. Imagine I am a stamp collector and it is a site for … Continue reading Notes on Open Journal posts
Open Journal #5
I just wanted to write about this because I want my feelings about it out there. For this survivor it was an interesting experience. It revealed things to me that I wasn’t aware of, and I learnt a thing or two. Obviously on arrival here I wandered into the Survivors Stories forum. Had a bit … Continue reading Open Journal #5
a blog less ordinary 