Open Journal #23

I wasn’t talking about this to anyone. Never have. Would never. Had no need. I started talking to The Mentor about it. Well, because that’s what I do now. I think I started to understand it was at the root of some stuff, and keeping it secret wasn’t helping anything. These are some of the … Continue reading Open Journal #23 →

Open Journal #20

This last month I’ve slipped into being a bit of a recluse. Sleep broken by nightmares, half the night spent in the chat room or writing, and no real energy left for the outside world. Not that I had much desire to be around people anyway. The odd visitor to the house I could manage … Continue reading Open Journal #20 →

Open Journal #19

I understand that you probably know about this but this morning somebody told it to me for the first time When you are not fedlove on a silver spoon,you learn tolick it off knives. It hit me so deepit made me cryI felt it spread everywherewe talked about it and agreed that it was the … Continue reading Open Journal #19 →

Open Journal #18

The ban was lifted. I needed those couple of days to think about what happened next. What I felt about it. What it meant. As is often the way because of time zones, the chat rooms can be empty. I will often sit in one on my own and play music. I’ll write something on … Continue reading Open Journal #18 →

Open Journal #17

A couple of days ago, I was writing to The Mentor. I write about what I am feeling, what I have discovered, what I have talked about with people, what I have read. He sends it back with comments and thoughts and links and things for me to think about or where to go next. … Continue reading Open Journal #17 →

Open Journal #9

Violent childhood. Sexual abuse. Damaged adult getting by. Disclosure, police, courts. Two decades of coping. And now — the realisation I never really faced any of it. This all feels like the right thing to do, and I am starting to understand some of it. I had never spoken about, addressed, admitted, described all the … Continue reading Open Journal #9 →