Open Journal # 43

I thought I would focus on a couple of things my therapist discussed with me during our time together. Face to face, I mean. That latest session was full of moments where I saw things clearly for the first time. Subjects I had touched on before, here in chat and with him — snippets of … Continue reading Open Journal # 43 →

Open Journal #31

Excited puppies and wet paint do not mix well. So my week has been spent moving from room to room and staying out the way of painters. Painters we had booked long ago before all this stuff happened. It has been a weird week of broken sleep and naps and writing and hiding away alone. … Continue reading Open Journal #31 →

Open Journal #29

A thing happened, short version is, I was faced with a load of new paperwork that I had never seen before. The why and the wherefore is not really important for the point of this journal entry. Suffice to say that I have been reading many reports about me. Social Workers on home visits and … Continue reading Open Journal #29 →

Open Journal #28

Part One ~ Looking for a Therapist When I read the book Traumasexuality, I felt it would be amazing if I could find a therapist who was trained in this stuff. It clicked with me, so much so that immediately and completely I shifted in my thinking and I could see the possibility of having … Continue reading Open Journal #28 →

Open Journal #23

I wasn’t talking about this to anyone. Never have. Would never. Had no need. I started talking to The Mentor about it. Well, because that’s what I do now. I think I started to understand it was at the root of some stuff, and keeping it secret wasn’t helping anything. These are some of the … Continue reading Open Journal #23 →

Open Journal #22

Six weeks. I clicked on a link six weeks ago yesterday. A life-changing, line in the sand, never-be-the-same-again click. I have never had so little sleep. I can’t seem to focus on anything else. It feels all-encompassing. There’s nowhere else I want to be, nothing else I want to think about. Considering how little I … Continue reading Open Journal #22 →

Open Journal #21

Traumasexuality by Peter John Schouten Clearly I am late to the party. As I am with most things to do with all of this. The Mentor mentioned it, mentioned it in such a way that I paid attention. Thought I would get a copy and have a read. I really don’t do this, you will … Continue reading Open Journal #21 →

Open Journal #20

This last month I’ve slipped into being a bit of a recluse. Sleep broken by nightmares, half the night spent in the chat room or writing, and no real energy left for the outside world. Not that I had much desire to be around people anyway. The odd visitor to the house I could manage … Continue reading Open Journal #20 →

Open Journal #17

A couple of days ago, I was writing to The Mentor. I write about what I am feeling, what I have discovered, what I have talked about with people, what I have read. He sends it back with comments and thoughts and links and things for me to think about or where to go next. … Continue reading Open Journal #17 →

Open Journal #14

I am minded to apply a Tigger warning, but to be honest in my whole life i have never met another living soul whose parents did this to them. So i don’t think a Tigger warning is needed. On the off chance that you were also locked in your room all the time consider yourself … Continue reading Open Journal #14 →