I kind of stopped doing these WordPress writing prompts, mainly because I started to think very often my answers were bleak. Most of my writing is around my experience of being a survivor and the process of learning about it and trying to understand it.
The writing prompts feel frothy and light. I have to switch off the dark button and try to engage with things in a nicer tone, and that takes effort.
I decided that truth was very important to me, and if the subject leaned itself to a dark or serious response, then so be it.
I thought I would return to them because I like the challenge of writing about something that is put in front of me. See where my mind goes.
One way I have grown, and it is not the only way, is that I have overcome my dislike of therapists. I was talked at and discussed a lot as a child, and as a result, I had a deep dislike of the process. I have in my time had appointments with a varied and odd collection of experts.
My IQ was tested, my behaviour discussed and observed, I was questioned and challenged, and my opinion was sought. Mostly, I now know that I was being encouraged to reveal that my violent father was hurting me so they could do something about it.
I never did.
I have written at length about how I found a therapist; the quick version is that I read a book that so impressed me I went looking for someone connected to the methods and theories outlined in that book. Somehow, I ended up with the man I have been working with for the last 18 months.
I could never have imagined that I would ever write this next sentence, but here goes…
I met a man who I like, who understands me, who protects me, and cares for me, and a man who teaches me how to cope.
I have grown in a way that I can say ‘I have a therapist’.
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