full collection links 1- 10 . 11-20 . 21-30
I understand that you probably know about this but this morning somebody told it to me for the first time
When you are not fed
love on a silver spoon,
you learn to
lick it off knives.
It hit me so deep
it made me cry
I felt it spread everywhere
we talked about it and agreed that it was the reason for so many things
It resonated and ended many things
it made me understand the phrase ‘it’s not your fault’ which I never got before
People have always said that to me, and I know they mean well, and I understand they believe it, but I don’t. I see myself agreeing to things, allowing things, not stopping things, and I think, ‘well you don’t know’. I fight the urge to question everything about the person who says it. How can I trust anything you say when you think that. You just don’t know what I know. It is very clearly my fault.
But if knives are what I have been licking, then of course it’s true. It’s not my fault. I was just licking knives, because that’s what was handed to me.
When things like that shift you can see hope.
I felt it vibrate across everything.
In a rush I started looking at things and understanding that if one thing was true then maybe others could be looked at again. This is going to take some time.
It explains addiction. It explains the ache. It explains the endless reaching. We weren’t given love, so we went looking for anything sharp enough to feel real. We licked knives.
i think it is why i let any man do any thing to me
that has just poured itself all over that
and it just feels like truth
it changes nothing but it changes everything
it gives it a reason
and I am very ok with that
I was just licking knives
this is going to be an emotional day
and all before breakfast
a blog less ordinary 
and i understand that maybe this is one of those things that a survivor just gets and it resonates in them, it is a little dark, i see that.
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