Violence does more to you than bruise. It breaks your resolve. It reduces your self-worth to a whisper. The unseen consequences of rage are a crushed and broken sense of yourself.
Tag: father
Staying In Neutral
In the last week of my father's life, he lingered. Like that party guest who just needs one more drink, he hung around and would not give up the ghost. Or simply become one.
Nominally Not Nurtured
Neglect takes many forms. I can look around and see worse examples of an upbringing. Always someone poorer. Always someone richer. In the same way, there are people more abused and less abused. We don't rank people. Apparently.
Strong
You will not be surprised to learn that my internal monologue is relentless and quite sharp and tetchy. I come up with cutting exit lines, edit, rewind, try again.
I Have A Feeling Feelings Feel A Little Off.
I struggle with certain emotions. I mention this because sometimes, if we talk about things we find difficult, it helps others recognise themselves. It can give shape to feelings they already have but don’t yet understand.
The Sound Of Silence
Sitting in my bedroom, a book open on my lap. The sound of the front door slamming shut. The distant voices lowering and a sickening dread rising in me. This is it.
On Being Male
I am noted among my friends for being metrosexual. I wear clear nail varnish and I do not do football; I neither understand it nor care for it. I can throw a punch with my trainer at the gym while gossiping and bitching.
A Friend In Need Of A Friend
Is there an app for finding a friend, something you can put in filters and parameters and narrow down your search to a very specific person? I’m asking for a friend.
Therefore I Have No Before.
A friend pointed me towards Dr Doyle’s instagram full of pithy comments around PTSD and trauma recovery — Oh and a lot of pictures of his cat. This one really hit home.
Open Journal #56
Listen to this on the podcast The Storage Unit Of My Mind I am sure it has been used a thousand times. It might even be that my therapist has used it many times himself. One day he described my brain as a storage unit. I imagined one of those ones you hire like a … Continue reading Open Journal #56