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In the interest of balance, I thought I would talk about some good things. I have released my Mentor for the holidays. My Christmas present to him — me not whining into his inbox on a daily basis. I will do this and another post, then take a break for a bit over the holidays. For all our sakes. I think I would like to see what it’s like to try not thinking about all of this stuff all of the time. Yes, I will probably still be in chat on a nightly basis as nothing changes and we march relentlessly on, but the intention was a good one.
I have felt very reclusive since coming here. Not seeing people, dealing with a lot of stuff, feeling emotional. I didn’t have the headspace for anything. The other day, circumstances meant I needed to run some errands and do the things that needed doing. So for two days, I went out into the big wide world and interacted and did the things.
I was tired and even worried about driving, in case my concentration wasn’t up to it. I was also aware that my PTSD, (still never quite sure how to refer to it), has been oversensitive to noise and sensory stuff lately, making me a little anxious about being out in the wild. Crisp day, and I love driving and listening to music, so my mood lifted a little as I sat in the car. I returned to the house to get my phone and did the whole thing over again.
First job was to get a haircut. Christmas haircuts are a rule. Photos will be taken at random moments and you can at least ensure that you are presentable and not have to live with odd images of yourself for years to come. My barber is young and chatty. He knows I used to own a record shop, so he always has things for me to listen to and we chatter about music.
Barbers do a lot of touching — back of the neck, ears, moves your head, strokes your hair. I know it’s normal, I know it doesn’t mean anything, I know it’s okay. And I don’t. At one point, he leaned forward and said quietly into my ear, “I like when you come in, you always make me laugh.”
I nearly cried. No idea why. It felt intimate, and a nice thing to say. I told him I liked to see him too. I didn’t mention all the touching; he didn’t need to know about that. My problem, not his. I left tidier, and feeling like that was a good start to the day.
Ran a few errands and then headed to the Apple Store, which I love. I’ve visited them all over the world. Full of shiny toys. I had permission to update my very out-of-date MacBook. I also had an Apple Pencil that wouldn’t charge. Secured an appointment for that and passed the waiting time spending too much money.
A funny, articulate, informed young woman helped me narrow it down to the right choice. We clicked. The kind of person you want to grab a coffee with and find out more about. Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, I used to train staff to use Macs, and if I had my life again I would work for Apple. That or be a barrister.

As we finished the purchase, she said they were ready for me at the Genius Bar and started walking me that way. I asked what she was doing, and she grinned and said, “Oh, I’m not ready to leave all the laughter yet. I thought I would introduce you to my friend who’s going to take care of you.” Which is what we did. For ten minutes, we just included her friend and had that coffee without the actual coffee. Good experience.
The Apple Pencil wasn’t working because the iPad had a fault with the little charging bit, so they replaced the iPad. AppleCare+, which we need because of the crippling effect of losing a device halfway across the world at a crucial moment. Or in my case, the moment a MacBook screen went black just before a week of hectic work far from home. They fixed it within the hour and saved my life. Which is why it’s one of those things we can’t manage without.
I left with the promise they would get a replacement ASAP and went on my way. Got in a crowded lift, commented to a couple of women with a cute baby in a pram that that was the way to shop — get wheeled around and sleep when you felt like it. At that point, the lift stopped, doors opened, and a good-looking man beside me pointed to the door and said, “There’s a trolley there, hop in and I’ll wheel you about for the afternoon.” Lift full of people laughing at my red face. He grinned at me. I politely declined his kind offer. Fun.
Funny little moment the other morning: took a delivery at the front door and offered a chocolate from a bowl of wrapped Lindt chocolates as a little Christmas treat. The delivery boy mused and carefully took three different ones. I mean, how rude. Made us giggle a lot. You take a chocolate, right?
So. I have had a haircut and feel half-human. I am sitting here typing this on the most beautiful new MacBook that is all smooth and sexy. I have a new iPad for nothing. I must have been a very good boy. I don’t actually remember especially being good, but I decided it was best if I didn’t say anything about that.
And yes, I know it isn’t Christmas yet, so technically I shouldn’t have my MacBook yet, but the deal was this: my wife hates shopping, I love shopping, and if she can’t be bothered to buy it and wrap it and make it a proper present, then she loses the right to lay down loads of rules.
I think I might write about favourite Christmas music for my next post. Let’s face it, probably the only week of the year you can.
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