Write about your first crush.

daily writing prompt #8

Our school was putting on a pantomime. That very English show that gets to include shouted-out catchphrases, songs, sketches, old jokes, and a Dame— a man dressed as a parody of a woman, not the Judi Dench type.

In our area, this was a big deal. At the time, it ran for a week and was a sold-out success. There were hundreds of children in the cast, and that meant audiences of parents, aunts, uncles, siblings, and friends of the family. All the families. The biggest and most appreciative audience it was possible to play in front of. Encores and rapturous  applause guaranteed.

I was watching rehearsals. I had some bit part, chorus, and a couple of lines. Already aged 11, I liked the showbiz glamour and glitz, and I was hanging out and feeling a part of something. 

The pantomime was Robinson Crusoe, not for us, just a stranded mariner and his man Friday. We had a whole host of add-ons, which included Robinson Crusoe’s younger brother, Billy. Nope, no idea. He might have had a younger brother, and he may well have been called Billy; you don’t know he didn’t. A pantomime is no place for facts to get in the way of casting.

The boy who played Billy was nowhere to be found, and I was dispatched to the bus stops to see if ‘Billy’ could be found and reminded that it was rehearsal night. I returned having found him but with the missive that he didn’t want to do it anymore and he was going home. The teacher gave me a script and asked me to just read the part and be ‘Billy’ for now, so they could carry on. 

After the rehearsal, they asked me if I wanted the part. I said yes and then completely panicked. What was I thinking?! I had never done anything like this. It wasn’t a lead, but it was a main part, it had dancing and singing, it had lots of words, and some solo singing, and good grief, this is a nightmare. 

Also, it was thrilling and exciting, and I was right at the centre of everything. Loads of rehearsals, lots of lights, loads of fun, and new friends, and part of something, and of course, I wanted to do it. So I learnt a script really quickly, and within a couple of rehearsals, I was off the book and up and running.

Opposite was my love interest, a pretty girl a little older than me. Billy was supposed to have a crush on her. Shows like this depend on secrets that the audience work out before the plot reveals, and it adds spice and gives the opportunity for the character to have a song. You know the drill: Grease has ‘Sandy’ and from Follies ‘Losing My Mind’, well, I had ‘ Bye Bye Blackbird’. With the lyric: Where somebody waits for me/sugar sweet, so is she/ Bye Bye Blackbird.

No idea of the relevance to the storyline, but it was the song I had to sing, and somehow it ended with me using my hat to shield us while the song ended with us kissing. Well, pretend kissing. And with me standing on tip-toe because me being a little too short added a cute ‘ ahh’ factor to the scene. 

In the tradition of theatre, I embraced the whole idea of a show romance and fell head-over-heels for the slightly older girl I was kissing every night. This was my first crush, and from the moment I first met her in rehearsals, I had silently adored her from every angle. The look of her, the smell of her, everything about her was perfect. Nobody knew. 

Over the weeks of rehearsals and the run of the show, I was thrilled every time I was around her. In the show, I was able to dance with her, touch her, sing to her, and just be near her. This older, beautiful girl was unattainable and out of reach.

On the last night. Summoning all my courage and shaking with nerves as I lifted the hat to hide us from the audience, I gently pressed my lips against hers. This time I actually kissed her. As we broke apart and took our bows, she smiled at me and left the stage and never spoke to me again.

I don’t know her name. I have never forgotten that kiss.